My last week and a half....

So this has been my last week and a half. It started off just normal, being at home with the kids. Until tuesday when I had to take Ryker to the doctors office for some results. We ended up in the hospital that night for phnomia (sorry can't spell). So we ended up staying in the hospital for two days, which ment I spent my third annivisary in the hospital. I know what a drain. We were able to leave on christmas eve with oxygen and a monitor to watch his o2 levels and his heart rate. Well, I was able to take him off of oxygen on sunday and had to take him into the doctor's office today for a follow up. While there we took the monitor off his foot and his toe was really red because I had the dang thing on to tight and I didn't know it. I also didn't understand that you had to move the monitor from foot to foot so he wouldn't get hurt and I didn't do that. So now I have to watch his toe to make sure it doesn't get infected. I feel like the worst mom in the whole world. I even cried in the doctors office when they had to have another doctor come in the room and look at his toe. So that has been my last week and a half. So tell me if he had a good first christmas. I think not and I also think like I'm torturing this little guy and he's only 6 weeks old.